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Cane & Collar

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hello@caneandcollar.com.au

Cane & Collar

Signed in as:

filler@godaddy.com

  • Home
  • Podcast: Comply With Me
  • Contact Cane & Collar
  • Satire Salt Lamps WHS
  • Fringe Festival Show
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Welcome

Exquisite Fine Dining Experience

Exquisite Fine Dining ExperienceExquisite Fine Dining ExperienceExquisite Fine Dining Experience
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Cane & Collar Private Fine Dining FNQ

Our Story In a small city in Emilia-Romagna (the one food lovers whisper about — Parma), a young chef learned how to cook with respect. Respect for ingredients. Respect for the seasons. Respect for the hands that grew and raised things. He grew up around farmers, cheese-makers and old men who argue passionately about which ham should be sliced thicker, and why basil must never meet the knife. He cooked in restaurants where dishes were plated as quietly as prayers. And then, somehow, he found himself in Far North Queensland. Here, the produce is wild and tropical, the seafood is outrageous, and the cane fields behave like golden oceans at dusk. He fell in love with the rawness of the north and began designing menus that blend Italian discipline with FNQ flavour. This Valentine’s week, he’s cooking privately for couples who want something worthy of memory.

Why Hire Us

Personalized service tailored to your unique needs.

Experienced professionals dedicated to your success.

Proven results that speak for themselves.

Indulge in Our Culinary Delights: A Photo Gallery of Cane & Collar Private Fine Dining

    Hello

    Welcome to Cane & Collar Private Fine Dining Fine Dining






                                                                     







    Find out more

    Discover Cane & Collar Private Fine Dining

    Our Vision

    Our Cuisine

    Our Cuisine

    At Cane & Collar Private Fine Dining, we believe that dining is more than just a meal, it's an experience. Our vision is to create a space where our guests can escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life and indulge in a sensory journey of taste, aroma and ambiance.

    Our Cuisine

    Our Cuisine

    Our Cuisine

    Our menu is inspired by the rich culinary traditions of the Mediterranean, with a focus on fresh, seasonal ingredients and bold, vibrant flavors. From our hand-crafted pastas to our grilled seafood and meats, every dish is a celebration of the region's diverse culinary heritage.

    Our Team

    Our Cuisine

    Our Team

    At Cane & Collar Private Fine Dining, we are proud to have assembled a team of passionate and skilled chefs, sommeliers and service staff who share our commitment to excellence. From the kitchen to the dining room, every member of our team is dedicated to providing you with an exceptional experience.

    Unique Private Chef Experience plus more

     

     

    Welcome to the Cane & Collar Fine Dining Experience, a little pocket of temptation in Far North Queensland, curated by 2 talented and creative professionals.


    Tonight, you’ll taste what happens when luxury food meets luxury atmosphere: ingredients chosen with reverence, plated with precision, served with a wink. 


    Our philosophy is simple: food should feel like pleasure and unfold like theatre. Expect courses that whisper Parma, Cairns and Champagne in the same breath, paired with stories, textures and just the right amount of trouble.

    Settle in, switch off from the outside world, and let us take care of the rest.

    — Cane & Collar Fine Dining”


     

    Cane & Collar Home Fine Dining

    Private Dining, Hosting & Massage Experiences

    Cairns | Palm Cove | Port Douglas

    Cane & Collar offers private in-home fine dining experiences for couples who want privacy, atmosphere, good food, personal hosting, and a memorable night without leaving their accommodation.

    This is designed for couples staying in private homes, luxury villas, resorts, Airbnbs, apartments, or holiday accommodation in Cairns, Palm Cove, Port Douglas, and surrounding areas.

    It is not a restaurant booking.

    It is a private, curated evening brought into your own space.

    Hosted by the character Sassy Jessie and prepared by Michael, your private Italian chef, the evening can include beautiful food, soft hosting, conversation, romantic atmosphere, massage, and optional playful extras discussed privately before the booking.

    This experience is best suited to respectful couples who value discretion, privacy, quality service, and a slow, luxurious evening.

    Premium pricing applies. This service is not for everyone.


    Package 1: The Private Table

    3-Hour Experience

    Starting from $1,000

    A private dining experience for couples wanting a beautiful, intimate evening in their own space.

    This package may include:


    Private chef experience with Micheal
    3-course Italian-inspired fine dining menu
    3 to 5 selected menu items
    Light hosting by Jessie
    Table setup and atmosphere
    Soft music, candles, lighting, and private dining mood
    Discreet service throughout the evening
    Optional short relaxation massage add-on if time allows


    Suggested Timing

    30 to 45 minutes before guest dining begins:
    Arrival, setup, kitchen preparation, table styling, lighting, and atmosphere.


    90 minutes:
    Private dining experience, food presentation, hosting, and relaxed service.


    30 to 45 minutes:
    Dessert, final drinks, gentle closing, pack-down, and privacy reset.


    This package is ideal for:

    Romantic dinners
    Anniversaries
    Birthdays
    Couples on holiday
    Private villa guests
    Palm Cove and Port Douglas stays
    Couples wanting something more personal than a restaurant



    Package 2: The Full Cane & Collar Evening

    6-Hour Experience

    Starting from $1,800 to $3,000

    A longer, slower, more immersive private evening for couples wanting fine dining, atmosphere, massage, and a more personalised experience.

    This package may include:

    Private Italian-inspired dinner prepared by Micheal
    3 to 5 menu items across the evening
    Private hosting by Jessie
    Romantic table and room styling
    Soft lighting, candles, music, and atmosphere
    A separate relaxation room prepared during dinner
    2 Massage tables setup: Towels, oils, music, lighting, and comfort items
    Couples massage or individual massage options
    Optional playful extras discussed in advance
    A slower, more luxurious pace
    Discreet pack-down and exit


    Suggested Timing

    60 to 90 minutes before dining begins:
    Arrival, kitchen setup, food preparation, table styling, lighting, massage room preparation, and atmosphere setup.

    2 hours:
    Private dining experience with food presentation, hosting, conversation, and relaxed service.

    30 minutes:
    Transition time after dinner. Jessie prepares the massage room, lighting, music, oils, towels, and optional extras while Micheal  clears and resets.

    1.5 to 2 hours:
    Massage, relaxation, and private couple-focused experience.


    30 to 45 minutes:
    Soft closing, pack-down, kitchen reset, and departure.

    This package is ideal for:

    Luxury couples escapes
    Honeymoons
    Anniversaries
    Private celebrations
    Couples wanting privacy
    Couples wanting something sensual but tasteful
    High-end Airbnb and villa guests
    Port Douglas and Palm Cove holidaymakers


    Optional Add-Ons

    Couples massage 30 mins- 1 hour
    Extended relaxation massage time
    Special occasion cake or dessert
    Champagne or sparkling water service
    Additional grazing board
    Italian language romance card
    Personalised menu card
    Luxury after-dinner relaxation setup
    Playful couple questionnaire

    Any playful or intimate extras must be discussed clearly before the booking. Consent, comfort, privacy, and boundaries are always respected.


    Important Notes

    Cane & Collar home fine dining is a premium private experience.

    It is designed for respectful couples only.

    We do not accept every enquiry.

    A deposit is required to secure the booking.

    Final pricing depends on location, package length, menu selection, setup requirements, travel time, and any extras requested.

    Bookings are limited to maintain quality.

    We only expect to accept one to two premium bookings per month.


     The Blind Dining Course


    Taste without distraction.

    One course may be served with sight softened (blind dining), inspired by Michelin-style sensory tastings across Europe.

    Without visual cues, flavour becomes richer, texture becomes intriguing, and aroma takes the lead.

    This feature is:
    ✔ Optional
    ✔ Consent-based
    ✔ Elegant, curious and culinary-focused


    Menus

    Chef Max sources premium produce from Far North Queensland and Italy, with menus guided by seasonality.

    3-Course Romance
    Light, refined, perfect for relaxed evenings.

    6-Course Signature
    A full tasting journey across texture, temperature and technique.

    10-Course Grand Tasting
    Playful, intricate and immersive — the highest expression of the experience.

    Dietary needs are accommodated wherever possible.


    Where It Happens


    Available throughout:
    • Cairns
    • Palm Cove
    • Trinity Beach
    • Clifton Beach
    • Kewarra
    • Port Douglas (by request)


    Host in:

    • Airbnb suites
    • Boutique villas
    • Private homes
    • Hotel residences (subject to kitchen approval)

    We bring everything required for service.


    Who This Is For


    • Couples celebrating something special
    Wedding proposals
    • New parents staying in
    • Quiet anniversary retreats
    • Two couples travelling together (2–4 guests)

    You don’t need a reason — just an appetite.


    What Our Guests Say


    “The most romantic and relaxed Valentine’s we’ve ever had. Incredible food.”
    — Couple from Sydney, Palm Cove
     
    “Better than any restaurant. The massage after dinner changed everything.”
    — Local couple, Trinity Beach
     

    Booking


    Limited spaces between 


     Available Dates (2026):


    June: 5th  / 6th  / 7th 19th / 20th / 21th
    July: 3th / 4th / 5th/ 17th & 18th
    August: 30th & 31th
    September: 4th & 5th, 8th & 9th, 18th & 19th
    October: 2th & 3th, 16th & 17th, 30th & 31st


    To request pricing & menus, send your enquiry to:


    Text / WhatsApp: +61 0498826097
    Instagram DM: @caneandcollar

    Or leave an enquiry here: 


    FAQ


    How many guests?


    2–6 guests per booking.


    Do you provide alcohol?


    No. We are BYO compliant. 

    We provide pairing suggestions upon request.


    Do we need a full kitchen?


    A basic kitchen is helpful. We’ll assess on enquiry.


    Is blind dining mandatory?


    No. It is optional, consent-based and culinary in nature.


    Do you bring plates/service ware?


    Yes, we can provide everything required for the service.


    Do you clean up afterwards?


    Yes. We leave the space as we found it. We arrive 2 hours before to set up dining.


    Compliance & Safety


    This experience is:

    ✔ hospitality-aligned
    ✔ professional chef-led
    ✔ BYO compliant
    ✔ suitable for Airbnb and boutique stays

    We are professional with Cert 4 trained massage therapist.
    Italian Chef Michelago maintains strict food safety standards.



    Enquire today

    Contact Us

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    This is an evolving project! We are seeing what couples want and need.





    Cane & Collar Private Fine Dining

    Far North Queensland, Australia, Far North QLD, Australia

    Hello@caneandcollar.com

    Hours

    Mon

    By Appointment

    Tue

    By Appointment

    Wed

    By Appointment

    Thu

    By Appointment

    Fri

    By Appointment

    Sat

    04:00 pm – 09:45 pm

    Sun

    By Appointment

    This project is private & exclusive. Please book ahead with 25% deposit to avoid disappointment 

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    Privacy Policy

    Cane and Collar Home Fine Dining Privacy Notice

    At Cane and Collar Home Fine Dining (“we,” or “us”), we value the privacy of individuals who use our websites and related services (collectively, our “Services”). This Privacy Notice explains how we collect, use, and share the personal information of users of our Services (“users,” “you,” or “your”). By using our Services, you agree to the collection, use, disclosure, and processing of your information as described by this Privacy Notice.

    Personal information is information that identifies or could be used to identify a specific person. Personal information does not include deidentified information (anonymized or pseudonymized) or aggregated information derived from personal information.

    We may collect a variety of personal information and other information about you or your devices from various sources, as described below.

    Information You Provide to Us

    Registration Information. If you sign up for an account, register to use our Services, or sign up for emails or other updates, we may ask you for basic contact information, such as your name, email address, phone number, and/or mailing address. We may also collect certain demographic information when you register for our Services, including your age, gender, personal interests, income, and/or marital status.

    Communications. If you contact us directly, we may collect additional information from you. For example, when you reach out to our customer support team, we may ask for your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, or other contact information so that we can verify your identity and communicate with you. We may also store the contents of any message or attachments that you send to us, as well as any information you submit through any of our forms or questionnaires.

    Events. If you register for an event that we host, whether in-person or online, we may collect relevant information such as your name, address, title, company, phone number, or email address, as well as specific information relevant to the event for which you are registering.

    User Content. We may allow you and other Users of our Services to share their own content with others. This may include posts, comments, reviews, or other User-generated content. Unless otherwise noted when creating such content, this information may be shared publicly through our Services.

    Payment Information. If you make a purchase through our Services, we (or a third-party payment processor acting on our behalf) may collect your payment-related information, such as credit card or other financial information.

    Job Applications. If you apply for a job with us, we may collect relevant information such as your name, phone number, email address, position, job history, education history, references, a cover letter, and other similar information.

    Information We Collect Automatically When You Use Our Services

    Device Information. We may collect information about the devices and software you use to access our Services, such as your IP address, web browser type, operating system version, device identifiers, and other similar information.

    Usage Information. To help us understand how you use our Services and to help us improve them, we may collect data about your interactions with our Services. This includes, but is not limited to, information such as crash reports, session lengths and times, the specific pages and other content you view, and any searches you conduct on our site.

    Cookies and Similar Technologies. We and our third-party partners may collect information using cookies, pixel tags, or similar technologies. Cookies are small text files containing a string of alphanumeric characters. We may use both session cookies and persistent cookies. A session cookie disappears after you close your browser. A persistent cookie remains after you close your browser and may be used by your browser on subsequent visits to our Services.

    Information We Receive from Other Sources

    We may receive information about you from other sources, including third parties that help us update, expand, and analyze our records, identify new customers, or detect or prevent fraud. What information we receive from third parties is governed by the privacy settings, policies, and/or procedures of the relevant organizations, and we encourage you to review them.

    How We Use the Information We Collect

    We may use the information we collect:

    • To provide, maintain, improve, and enhance our Services;
    • To understand and analyze how you use our Services and develop new products, services, features, and functionality;
    • To facilitate purchases of products or services that you order;
    • To host events;
    • To allow you to share content with other Users of our Services;
    • To evaluate and process applications for jobs with us;
    • To communicate with you, provide you with updates and other information relating to our Services, provide information that you request, respond to comments and questions, and otherwise provide User support;
    • For marketing and advertising purposes, including developing and providing promotional and advertising materials that may be relevant, valuable or otherwise of interest to you;
    • To detect and prevent fraud, and respond to trust and safety issues that may arise;
    • In connection with generative AI applications;
    • For compliance purposes, including enforcing our Terms of Use or other legal rights, or as may be required by applicable laws and regulations or requested by any judicial process or governmental agency; and
    • For other purposes for which we provide specific notice at the time the information is collected.

    How We Share the Information We Collect

    Service Providers. We may share any information we collect with service providers retained in connection with the provision of our Services. These companies are permitted to use this information to help us provide our Services to improve the services they provide us, and for other purposes disclosed in this Privacy Notice.

    Our Affiliates and Representatives. We may share your information with our affiliates, subsidiaries, and representatives as needed to provide our Services.

    Other Users. Content you post on our websites, including comments, may be displayed to other Users as appropriate.

    Our Advertising and Analytics Partners. We work with our Service Providers and other analytics and/or advertising partners to collect and process certain analytics data regarding your use of our Services and to conduct advertising via cookies, as detailed below. Our Service Providers and other analytics and/or advertising partners may also collect information about your use of other websites, apps, and online resources. Parties that may process your information for advertising and analytics purposes include our Service Providers and may also include:

    • Google  - We may use Google’s services to collect and process analytics data about how our Users interact with our Services and to place ads that we think may interest Users and potential users.For more information, see Google’s Privacy & Terms page.
    • Meta - We may use Meta’s services to place ads that we think may interest our users and potential users across Meta’s various websites, such as Facebook and Instagram.For more information, see Meta’s Data Policy and Privacy Center.
    • LinkedIn - We may use LinkedIn’s services to place ads that we think may interest our users and potential users, as well as to advertise openings to potential employees.For more information, see LinkedIn’s Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy.
    • Microsoft - We may use Microsoft’s services to place ads that we think may interest our users and potential users.For more information, see Microsoft’s Advertising Policies.

    Please note that our Service Providers and advertising and analytics partners may change from time to time. If you would like a current list of the specific parties we are working with to provide analytics and/or advertising services, contact us at hello@caneandcollar.com.au. For details about your choices regarding how these partners use your information, see the Your Choices section below.

    As Required by Law and Similar Disclosures. We may access, preserve, and disclose your information if we believe doing so is required or appropriate to: (a) comply with law enforcement requests and legal process, such as a court order or subpoena; (b) respond to your requests; or (c) protect your, our, or others’ rights, property, or safety. In particular, we may disclose relevant information to the appropriate third parties if you post any illegal, threatening, or objectionable content on or through the Services.

    Events. We may share your information with event partners or co-sponsors to facilitate the events for which you register.

    Merger, Sale, or Other Asset Transfers. We may transfer your information to service providers, advisors, potential transactional partners, or other third parties in connection with the consideration, negotiation, or completion of a corporate transaction in which we are acquired by or merged with another company or in which we sell, liquidate, or transfer all or a portion of our assets. The use of your information following any of these events will be governed by the same general provisions of this Privacy Notice.

    Consent. We may also disclose your information with your permission.

    Your Choices

    Our Communications. From time to time, you may receive marketing or other informational email messages from us. You can unsubscribe from our promotional and informational emails via the link provided in the emails. After opting out of receiving such messages from us, users may continue to receive administrative messages from us that are necessary to service User accounts.

    Cookies. Most web browsers allow you to manage cookies through the browser settings. To find out more about cookies, you can visit www.aboutcookies.org or www.allaboutcookies.org.

    Our Partners. You can learn more about Google’s privacy practices and your options for how they use your information on Google’s website. You can also install the Google Analytics Opt-out Browser Add-on. Meta, the parent company of Facebook, provides information about how it uses the information it collects through our Services in its Data Policy. You can also learn specifically about Facebook’s advertising practices on its website.

    Some of our advertising partners may be members of the Network Advertising Initiative or the Digital Advertising Alliance. You can visit those organizations’ websites to learn about how you may opt out of receiving web-based personalized ads from their member companies. You can also access any settings offered by your mobile operating system to limit ad tracking. To inquire about your choices regarding our business partners generally, contact us at hello@caneandcollar.com.au.

    Third-Party Content

    Our Services may contain links to other websites, products, or services that we do not own or operate. We are not responsible for the content provided by, or the privacy practices of, these third parties. Please be aware that this Privacy Notice does not apply to your activities on these third-party services or any information you disclose to these third parties. We encourage you to read their privacy policies before providing any information to them.

    Security

    We make reasonable efforts to protect your information by using administrative, technological, and physical safeguards designed to improve the security of the information we maintain and protect it from accidental loss, unauthorized access or use, or any other inappropriate or unlawful processing. Because no information system can be 100% secure, we cannot guarantee the absolute security of your information.

    Children’s Privacy

    We do not knowingly collect, maintain, or use information from children under 13 years of age, and no part of our Services are directed toward children. If you learn that a child has provided us with information in violation of this Privacy Notice, then you may alert us at hello@caneandcollar.com.au.

    International Visitors

    Our Services are hosted in the United States and intended for use by individuals located within the United States. If you choose to use the Services from the European Union or other regions of the world with laws governing data collection and use that may differ from U.S. law, please note that you are transferring your information outside of those regions to the United States for storage and processing. Also, we may transfer your data from the U.S. to other countries or regions in connection with operating the Services and storing or processing data. By using our Services, you consent to the transfer, storage, and processing of your information as described in this Privacy Notice.

    Changes to this Privacy Notice

    We will post any adjustments to the Privacy Notice on this page, and the revised version will be effective when it is posted. If we make material changes, we may notify you via a notice posted on our website or another method. We encourage you to read this Privacy Notice periodically to stay up to date about our privacy practices.

    Contact Us

    All feedback, comments, requests for technical support, and other communications relating to the Sites and our data collection and processing activities should be directed to: hello@caneandcollar.com.au.

    Last updated: June 02, 2026

    Gift Cards: Cane and Collar

    Send a gift card to friends and family or buy it now for your future use. You can use it for bookings, artwork, photography, most products on the site. 

    Buy Now

    Cane & Collar Salt Lamps:

    $40.00

    ($10.00 shipping)

    Pay with PayPal or a debit/credit card

      "Comply With Me" USB Salt Diffuser

    A Cane & Collar Compliance Product™
    For Homes, Workplaces & Suburban Emotional Safety Zones


    The Satirical Workplace Safety Glow-Up

    This USB-powered salt lamp is here to protect your aura, seduce your HR department, and pass your next emotional audit.

     Compatible with laptops, desktops, and passive-aggressive Zoom meetings
    Emits a calming glow (and possibly judgment)
    Includes one random compliance sticker — collect them all!


    Product Description:

    Introducing the “Comply With Me” USB Salt Diffuser, your legally questionable solution to electromagnetic chaos, interpersonal dysfunction, and deeply buried intergenerational trauma.


    Hand-harvested from the fictional salt caves of the Tablelands and infused with corporate dread, each USB-powered salt lamp provides:

    ✅ Illusory protection from workplace bullying
    ✅ 72% reduction in ADHD dog tantrums (according to Papa G’s dreams)
    ✅ A soft glow that tricks your nervous system into behaving
    ✅ Optional compliance stickers in 4 tiers: "Moderate Risk," "Non-Compliant," "Fully Submissive," and "Karen-Proofed."


    Whether you’re running a kink dungeon, a mining boardroom, or just trying to keep it together during school pickup, this diffuser will help you pass your next Salt Lamp Audit™ — or at least look like you’re trying.  Comply With Me” USB Salt Diffuser

    T

    📦 Ships in recycled cane-pulp packaging. Plug it in and prepare to comply.
    🛒 $44.44 | Quarterly subscription available

    $20.00
    Pay with PayPal or a debit/credit card

     

    Deadline: April 1st, 2025

    Welcome to the official (and unofficially hilarious) home of emotional risk management through ionized workplace tools.

    Whether you work in an office, on a mine site, or behind a government-issued desk, one thing is now clear:
    Your workplace must glow.

    🔎 Choose Your Industry:

    🧑‍💼 Corporate & Office Environments
    Think team-building meets satire. One salt lamp per laptop, quarterly aura reports, and bonus points for branded enlightenment.
    👉 Download the Office Kit


    ⛏️ Mining Camps & FIFO Sites
    Hard hats, crib rooms, and crystal-powered morale boosters. Your Emotional Safety Officer is waiting.
    👉 Get the Mining Pack


    🏛️ Government Departments
    Workplace wellbeing meets policy theatre. Stay compliant while confusing absolutely everyone above you.
    👉 Access Government Tools


    ✅ What’s Included in Every Kit:

    • USB Salt Lamp (optional but strongly recommended)
       
    • Printable Certificate of Compliance
       
    • Audit Checklist & Application Form
       
    • Mistress Jessie’s Welcome Letter
       
    • Bonus: “Comply With Me” Workshop Booking Option
       

    💬 What They’re Not Saying (Yet):

    “I didn’t understand it… but I feel strangely safer.”
    “Our manager glows now. We don’t ask questions.”
    “It’s the only compliance training I’ve actually enjoyed.”
     

    🧂 Ready to Comply?

    🛒 Choose your kit, print your forms, and plug in your glow.
    📅 Don’t wait until April 1st — the spirit of legislation is already here.

    Fictional WHS Manager Jessica is watching.
    And she takes compliance… very seriously.

    👉 Get Compliant Now →


    Cane & Collar: Jessie’s compliance reminder

    $129.00
    Pay with PayPal or a debit/credit card

    Firm and scolding MP3s to play in your car or workplace.

    Examples: “You didn’t test and tag the diffuser. Again.”
    “Did you think that corner was ventilated?”
    “Your posture’s non-compliant, and so is your attitude.”
    “This is not a compliant emotional display.” “Your diffuser isn’t test and tagged.”
    “Compliance is your kink now.”     “This aura isn’t going to regulate itself.”

     

    USB Salt Lamp Placement Guide Magnet

    Serious instructions for your unserious light source.

    Includes placement tips like:

    • “Must face north-northwest during retrograde.”  
    • “Do not position near aggressive furniture.” 
    • “Failure to comply results in vibe demerits.”
       

     $8.88 RRP: $4.44 each or $13 for the bundle

    🎙 Podcast Tie-In:
    Live recording of WHS Manager Jessie doing ASMR compliance affirmations


     Mock government-looking document to hang proudly in your home, dungeon, school, or vape store.

     Because sometimes, you need a fake sense of order.

    Choose between a downloadable PDF or premium foil-stamped A4 certificate, featuring:


    ✔️ Audit Date (fictitious)
    ✔️ QR Code (goes nowhere)
    ✔️ Official Seal of Passive Domination™

    Great for wall display, HR shaming, or wedding gifts.

    🛒$7.50 (Digital) | $15.00 (Foil-Embossed Edition)
     

    🎙 Podcast Segment Tie-In:
    “Mistress Jessie Conducts a Surprise Inspection” — absurd compliance checks of salt lamps in fictional spaces (e.g., caravan parks, vape lounges, schools).

     

    ☑️ Add another compliance certificate for your break room – $7.50
    ☑️ Add gift wrapping with scolding tag: “You’re Welcome. You Needed This.” – $5.00
    ☑️ Add Papa G’s Poem of Submission – $3.33 (printed on recycled council memos)

     

    Thank you for supporting Cane & Collar — a satirical safety initiative powered by salt, sass, and seriously strange logic.


    Before you check out, just remember:

    • These products are real, but our legal qualifications are not
       
    • We don’t offer refunds for spiritual non-alignment
       
    • Shipping is fast, discreet, and filled with passive-aggressive love
       
    • 60 % of all sales fund future podcast chaos editing and emotionally supportive dog snacks, especially for ADHD dogs.
       


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